Yesterday we wish you all a Happy New Year and I, who am more than congratulate him on the following day, day 1, and only for a couple or three days, but if the thing later lengthens that scares, I have not wanted to lose the opportunity to congratulate everyone the new year and, of course, the new baby.
Obviously, not everyone expects a baby for 2014, but since Babies and more It is a page where we talk about pregnancy and children up to 6 years, I'm sure I'm not mistaken in stating that this year many (and many) will see your baby born.
And before that event I wish you the best and I also take the liberty of offering you some advice of those that are like lentils, if you want them you take them, and if you don't leave them, but that I would have liked to listen as a father before I was.
Put yourself in his place
Babies are not adults. It seems obvious, it seems absurd to say it, but sometimes you have to remember it and highlight it so that parents don't make it an adult too soon. I say it because babies act in a totally selfish way, thinking only of them, and are only at ease and are able to smile when nothing bothers them and nothing they need. This is because They come with a very clear objective: to survive, and as life and nature struggle to break through, babies put their needs before ours.
It is worth doing a mental regression exercise to try to understand why they prefer to be in arms than alone in their cribs, why they are bothered by heat, cold, hunger, sleep, strange smells, the arms of strangers , loud noises, etc. So we will take a little better those moments when they cry, complain and need us without understanding very well (we) what they want. Knowing that they suffer and knowing that they are not manipulating us is a first step. Doing an empathy exercise is already a luxury for them. In the same way that we care for people who suffer, we must care for babies.
Being a father and mother is harder than it seems
Perhaps no one has told you yet, or perhaps they have told you and you have not paid much attention, or do you think they exaggerate or are not able to deal with a baby, when you will be. Well, I do not have a crystal ball and it may be that you touch one of those television commercial babies that come in a plastic box and only wake up when you press the "ON" key. They are a minority, they are babies who eat, sleep and fall and complain about practically nothing, and they are the ones we all think we will have when we know we are "pregnant."
But no, it is not these that arrive. They arrive some skinny and wrinkled little babies who complain a lot. When they don't cry they stretch, or they moan while they sleep, or they turn red to fart, or they squeeze and squeeze to release a liquid poop that we would fall on our own, or they get on our nerves, they let go because they don't They want more but after three minutes they cry with their fists in their hands because they are more hungry.
And all this, and much more, happens in the morning, happens in the afternoon and also happens at night. And one day that anyone can stand it, but since babies do not grow up from one day to another, it usually happens that as the days go by the parents begin to lose the grace of the subject and ask others if everything happens to them is normal or not and, above all, when it starts to improve.
I say, patience, put yourself in his place and calm, that time heals everything. Until then, I'm sorry, but yes, it's hard, very hard to be a father and mother.
Pay attention only to your baby
Babies are magnets. The parents' first-time faces are also magnets. People see a baby and feel the irresistible temptation to approach to give some advice. At first they only come to see the baby, talk about him and see how precious he is because, more or less, everyone likes babies. Then, once there, they value your face, they value how you talk about it and the way you take it and that's where they get you. They realize right away that it is your first baby and at that time they take the opportunity to show you how much they know, how much they have learned and improve yourself, leveling up with their knowledge.
And look, if the advice were correct and if everyone said the same thing hey, every day you learn something new and it is appreciated, but it is not, each one tells you something, often take advantage of the advice to judge how bad it is You're doing it, sometimes they even criticize something you do because someone who knows a lot has advised you and that's where you don't know where to throw it anymore.
Well, as I said on occasion, Babies do bring instruction manual, you just have to know how to interpret it. Look at your baby, listen to him, observe him and go doing what he asks. If he complains and cries, bad. If you don't complain and are at ease, fine. And so with everything. Trying solutions, trying different things, and not making strange inventions to force strange learning, such as getting him to learn to sleep alone in the crib, getting him to stay in the stroller without crying or squirting like that (and I say bullshit because babies, as I said, they come to survive, and for this they prefer to be in the safe arms of their parents than alone).
Time works miracles
I have already said it, time heals everything, but I do not mean only the time that passes by itself, without us doing anything, second to second, minute by minute, day after day, month after month, in which you see that as that your baby grows is taking, little by little, that it is not a matter of weeks, but of months and years, autonomy and independence. I speak of shared time.
It also seems obvious, and it also seems that there is no need to say it, but when there are professionals who say that the important thing is not the amount of time you spend with your children, but that the time is of quality, and that with half an hour a day it is enough, then the important thing must be clarified: the more time you spend with your baby, the more time you spend with your child, the more you play with him, the more you talk to him, the more you listen to him and more interactions with him, everything will be easier. It is the way to establish a relationship of trust, and when there is trust and there is love on both sides, everything flows more easily.
I said Happy New Baby in 2014!
Tina Lawson Footloosiety on Flickr In Babies and more | Caring for a baby who cries a lot: the environment and the mother, Tips for first time parents: breastfeeding without interference, Ten tips to survive after returning home with the baby
