What does it mean for a child to be shy? I think it must be something like "being afraid or afraid when they are surrounded by people, or when they meet people." Being shy doesn't have to be badOn the contrary, shyness is often accompanied by prudence, and this is a positive characteristic to face new situations.
Since all parents have expectations for our children, and that these - sometimes - are not met, it would be good if we knew that nobody is shy by choice, and that we can understand it as a lack of social skills that can be overcome.
Is shyness a problem?, probably if it worsens over time, hinders interaction with the environment, or significantly interferes with personal relationships, if it is. But if we accept it and help the little ones to overcome it, they will also learn to deal with problems or conflicts. It is the parents' task detect emotional problems in children and help overcome them. But it is also our responsibility to create a secure bond and free of punitive responses with our children, because sometimes shyness is nothing more than an emotional response in the form of insecurity, to overprotective or authoritarian parental styles.
There may also be genetic or physical causes in this behavior. But in any case, when we are worried because our child shows changes such as withdrawal or anxiety in new situations, we should consult the pediatrician.
The shyness of a child is not resolved by forcing him to face the force of what causes him fear, neither comparing him with brothers, cousins or companions, “look, how sociable Pablo is! Couldn't you be like that too? In this way, we only aggravate the problem.
Instead we can do other things that in addition to helping them, improve our relationship
-To understand them by putting ourselves in our place.
-Let that express themselves in the best possible way, sharing with the people they love most relieves them and gives them security. Conversations, drawings, songs, each one chooses the form of communication that best fits their personality, what really makes a difference is our receptivity.
-Propose new experiences of interaction in different spaces: children who are accustomed to interact with other people through visits to exhibitions, workshops, meetings of friends of parents, daily activities of parents, etc. They are endowed with social skills that they acquire by observation.
- Never force them, but suggest, accompany, highlight the positive values of each experience.
-Do not confuse specific situations with shyness: For example, a child may become more sensitive because his parents argue more, or because he has moved home. Other children are cautious and prefer to "recognize the terrain before exploring it."
-The labels get the opposite effect to what we want: when we say "look you are shy", we get shyness to become more acute. We could replace it with how do you feel when you are in your English class? How about doing something to improve it?
-Be patient and let them gradually overcome.
We all need to have confidence in ourselves., and I am convinced that a positive, open and normalizing attitude on the part of the parents helps the children very much. Sometimes we emphasize too certain behaviors or behaviors that we consider more appropriate, but our children have to be themselves, they are not in this world to reinforce our ego, but to help them build themselves as people.
