At this point, I believe that every reader knows that we are not very supportive of education, we will call it "traditional." That in which one of the parents, usually the mother, carries most of the weight and the other party acts as a Court or Supreme Court for the "most serious" cases and that remains more or less distant most of the time .
In recent times there have been other ways of seeing the education of our children from a lower point of view, just at the height of the eyes of our children, a new education that advocates educating from the love and respect towards the child . Educate from their height, respecting each and every one of their innate characteristics trying not to get lost in the sea of doubts that it is already a parent. Can we be friends with our children?
Change of role, from judge to friend
On many occasions it has been criticized that the "new" methods of education, which, by the way, some of them have nothing new, seek to make the father and mother "friends" of their children and that is that either you are a father or you are a friend, but not both at the same time. What I believe is, that as in most things, you have to analyze everything well before giving a verdict.
And is that it is not intended that parents now become "gang colleagues" of our children, for me it is clear that my children need an equal to fill that position, mainly because Friends are those that we choose and not those who have come to us taxes. As much as we wish to have a perfect paternal-filial relationship, we cannot forget that we are the parents and therefore the ultimate responsible for their education and development.
It is true that the figure of the distant, straight and severe father does not add up to the current times, which like all things must evolve and adapt to new needs, which He must look inside, recognize his mistakes and become the new figure that our children claim and need. And that means going down to their height and trying to establish a kind of friendship with them, an intermediate figure between mother and friend.
The idea is not that parents become colleagues in our children's gang
Perhaps, when it is criticized that now parents do not seem parents and that it is not possible to have a relationship with your children clearing us from the facet of main educators, it is because they only see that facet of friendship that pushes and encourages rebellion, the breakup of rules and cover-up or secrecy.
But this is not new, ** to whom your mother or father has not kept any secrets towards the other? ** I am sure that most of us have received the "help" from one of our parents at the time of convince the other, either to go out later, to dress in a certain way or to get what we wanted. How many parents have covered us in any of our adventures?
As much as we want to be the friends of our children, first we are their parents
You are not asking to be the confidant of our children, they need to choose who to trust and at what level to do it. We cannot stop being parents when accepting the behavior of our children, nobody is asking for it, not even our children, no matter how much they reveal themselves against our more adult and educating facet.
But if we can be that friend that we have all had or perhaps some have been, that anchors us to the ground, that says out loud that what we are going to do is crazy or that encourages us to take that step that is so difficult for us to take. We are the parents of our children and therefore our function is to teach them and prepare them for their future, not to tell them where they should walk or with whom, but to give them the necessary tools to learn to distinguish what is convenient for them from what no and this sometimes involves making friends chafa-fiestas.
Last week a mother was acquitted for taking her son's cell phone to study. The son had denounced her for nothing more and nothing less than ill-treatment. In the sentence The judge recognizes the right of parents to take the measures they deem appropriate for the education of their minor children.
This case for me is a clear example that shows one of the main differences between being a father and being a friend, ** a father has an obligation to ensure the future of his children, for his education **. In spite of how our children are going to settle our decision, we cannot act seeking their approval, we cannot go against our principles, the future of our children, for erroneously maintaining a dangerous relationship for all.
It is in this type of situations when we must bring friendship to its simplest form, which has no double face, which is shown as it is, which values above all the well-being of the loved one and act in the best so that we know in pursuit of the search for the best for what we most want in this world, which is nothing other than our children.
It may not be a matter of seeing whether or not we can be friends with our children, but of seeking friendship with them from our parents position., relegating the judge in front of the father and mother who watch over their children.
